toll ahead

dear universe,

i would like to start by thanking you for never giving me what i want. thank you for ignoring my sophomoric pleas for happiness, and instead handing me obstacles. i apologize for making specific requests and imagining my according to my own renditions of improvement. i am always wrong. but more importantly, thank you for always giving me what i need. someday, i promise i will learn to trust you completely, but for now i am still only an acorn.

thank you for all the people you have placed in my reality, because they really spice things up.

thank you for my mother, who is so much wiser than i can ever hope to be. thank you for my father, my mirror, my innate source of stubbornness and self-determination. thank you for my brother, the mediator, my breath of sanity in chaos. thank you for my sister, my reflection, my other half.

thank you for my friends, who are too many to count, which is a blessing in itself. thank you for angie, who is patient and forgiving. thank you for lucy, who reminds me that change is necessary to grow. thank you for samantha, who challenges my intellect. thank you for brittany, who gives me hope for humanity. thank you for jordon, and jr, and gabriella, who are the epitomes of gemini. thank you for mariko and jackie and mary anne and natalie and taylor and naomi and neil and cleveland, who took me in when i had nowhere else to go. thank you for jake and jaimie, who let me stay for that while and figure my life out. thank you for carlos and teresa and heather and grace and tony, who understand my frustrations. thank you for all the rest, because they are here for just as much reason as the others.

thank you for all the boys, and thank you for everything i learned from each one. thank you for the putz, who showed me how to stand up for myself. thank you for the troubled one, who made me appreciate every aspect of my life. thank you for the inconstant one, who showed me how to love without holding on too tight. thank you for the silly one, who helped me laugh through the tough times. thank you for the strong one, who challenged and grew and healed with me. thank you for the brave one, who journeyed with me.

thank you for all my teachers, which is everyone, really...

thank you for all the shit situations.
thank you for all the laughter.
thank you for all the lessons.

thank you for making me me.

love,
renea

p.s. is this an approprite place to just mention that this plantar's wart is really killing me?... ahem...

grammatically incorrect graffiti

"your belly button sticks out to far"

the concrete slab slur
singlehandedly offends pregnant women passersby.

fortunately i have an innie.
and a sense of humor.

thanks go to you, anonymous twelve year old artists.